Do you ever wonder why there’s all this stuff out there to make what should be,  good and fulfilling activities better? I do, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this dipshit. Sorry didn’t mean to chastise you just for reading; bad habit of mine, anyway when I think about all the seemingly useful toys and trinkets related to what should be, or were in the past, exiting activities fulfilling, it just makes me sick. You know the extras, stuff someone else decided that we (The ever so needy American public) would buy into just because. Like…. Ok different color (flavored) condoms, in case you didn’t know nobody performs oral sex with a condom on, except prostitutes, and if you think they care what your little friend tastes like your dead wrong. Its pretty obvious they have bigger worries like, oh I don’t know, hmm… buying crack, or paying off that pimp mortgage they will never get a chance to refinance. The color thing, I wont even bother explaining. If you have to figure out what that’s for you need to trade in your squirrel brain and ask God for a refund. Okay ill spell it out, it has no purpose! Your supposed to burry that thing not stand there and look at it! The sad part is I cant blame the inventor, shit if I knew ten years ago that every scared, blue collar ass, would run out and buy a fan with a car filter hidden in it promoting cleaner air for their up and coming sucker kids welfare I would have jumped a plane to China too and opened up shop. But the truth is ten years ago I was taking acid bought from a hitchhiker in the back of my brothers car, trying my damdest to keep the transaction on the D.L, and had no interest at all in what the hell kind of air I was breathing. Matter a fact, in most cases I was trying to get the kind with nitrous oxide in it.  Ooo, good times. Sometimes I come to think the really sad part of our lives today is the want inside of each of us to do less. I know “Work smarter not harder” but let me ask you this, is cooking at home for your self supposed to be work? Do you really need that mini super blender to fine chop your garlic, really? Isn’t that taking away part of the art of food preparation? Are those few extra moments to much to spare for personal touch and quality? How about the omelet flipper? Tell me please, with all the lesions in this life that you have had the common sense to absorb, that you can flip a fucking omelet on your own. Now you might say to this, “fuck you, I like my dam omelet flipper, and my phony air purifier, and my fucking colored condoms too!” By all means that’s well understood by many, many, many of your fellow peers but, to that I say, keep sacrificing quality for convenience, it suits you. Keep buying into gimmicks to make what is already good, better. Forget improving yourself. Last but not least, keep your flavored condoms but remember, hookers only take cash.

By Chet Noob

aka Sammy D

Yep, what you’ve heard is indeed true: We made a slick music video based on “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”. We had a helluva time making it and we’d like to thank everyone who helped out. Please check it out and tell everyone you know to check it out too. Leave a message on the MESSAGE BOARD telling us what you think about it.

Come join us at the Waterhole #3 for a wild night of hip hop and jolliness! Bring anyone you know and be ready to have a bombastic time!

Check out these photos in the  PHOTO GALLERY that we shot last week with this really talented photographer, Larissa Underwood.  We had a blast and the photos turned out pretty well. Who looks the coolest?

Stop by the PK Blog to hear rants from Yosemete Sam, Cormac, Poop Boy & Navillus Krik. We”ll update this as much as possible and if you get irritated with our lack of posts, leave a message on THE BOARD about it!

Yo people! Finally, our revamped website is up and running. It’s been a long time coming and we’re grateful and excited that it’s finally ready to go live. We hope this site helps people learn about us and check us out. We hope you girlies think we’re cute and that you fellas appreciate our fantastic flows. We hope your mom finds us wholesome and your little sister dreams about us. We have high hopes, we know.

So this weekend we went out in Santa Monica and as I hopped in a cab to ditch Sammy D and Cormac I called them “A**holes” out the window and Sammy D ran towards the cab and karate kicked the window. I don’t know how that window survived and I don’t know what the hell Sammy D was thinking but it was insane. The taxi driver sped away and I told him that I didn’t know that madman and that he should be punished for his mischievous antics. Then Cormac was trying to mack on this cute girl and so on and so forth.

We’re going back home soon for Xmas and everyone’s excited. Please keep checking our site for new gear, music and photos. And spread the word: Penny Kings are here!